Parenting Teens Isn’t For Wimps

Do your kids have secrets they don’t share with you? Well, I don’t know about you, but I certainly didn’t tell my parents everything I did! And I was a “good” kid (well, at least until I went away to college).

In the day we live it is more important than ever to talk to your kids and build up trust so they will tell you about school and their friends. Your kids need to be unafraid of how you will respond. They need to be able to voice their concerns to someone they know loves them.

If they say something shocking, don’t overreact! Take a deep breath and try to keep the conversation calm so you can discuss what they said. (Kids have been known to try to shock their parents.)

Consider this snippet from a real conversation between a mother and her young married daughter, Jane. (Names have been changed.)

Mom: “Are you and Bob going to church?” (This isn’t the first time Mom has asked this question!)

Jane: “Not really.”

Mom: “You need to go to church! It’s really important. Blah, blah, blah”

Jane: “I don’t know if I even believe in God!”

Mom freaks out and starts yelling! “You’re not my daughter! I don’t have a daughter!”

Jane storms out of the house, and they don’t speak for over a year!

Now here’s the backstory: Jane was a Christian, but she was seriously questioning her belief in God. She accepted Jesus as a child, but she never had the support she needed to grow and mature in Christ. She needed someone to listen to her concerns.

Jesus didn’t abandon Jane. He watched over her for many years until she found her way back to Him. (He is the most faithful friend you could ever have.) Not many years later, Jane returned to church and eventually became involved in ministry.

So, if your child says something shocking that makes you want to scream, see it as an opportunity for them to think through what they said with someone who loves them.

“Be merciful to those who doubt” Jude 1:22 NIV

 “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 NIV

The demands on parents today can be overwhelming, especially on moms. I know what it’s like to lose my cool. We’ve all done it!

My advice is to prepare ahead of time for how you will respond to an outrageous remark from your teen, because it will probably happen eventually. When something comes at us out of the blue and we are caught off guard, our response may be less than stellar.

“Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect,” 1 Peter 3:15 NIV

In His Love, Cindy

To learn more about Jesus, read Who Is Jesus? A message for the Skeptic

Did you know? The Lord appeared to Abram and said, … “I will establish my covenant as an everlasting covenant between me and you and your descendants after you…” Genesis 17:7 (emphasis mine)

Photo by Vitaly Gariev on Unsplash

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