After reading the book of Job, I learned some things about how NOT to encourage others. As you probably know, Job’s friends were not encouraging! They made things worse! Here are some things we can do to encourage someone.
1. Listen. Listening is better than talking.
We need to give the person we want to encourage focused attention. That means we are carefully listening to them, not just waiting for our turn to talk. (Ouch!)
Having someone listen is the best medicine for a hurting heart. The thing your friend needs most may not be answers, but someone to talk to and share their hurts or worries with.
2. Provide affirmation.
3. Be compassionate and caring.
4. Do not pretend to know what they are going through or tell them what happened to you.
5. You might provide support by writing them an encouraging note.
6. Pray for them.
Maybe the Holy Spirit will lead you to pray in a certain way. Or maybe He will guide you in what to say. Or maybe He just wants you to show love and compassion. If your friend wants your advice, she will probably ask for it.
“We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us… if it is to encourage, then give encouragement;” Romans 12:6,8 (Emphasis mine)
For some being an encourager is a spiritual gift, but it is something we must all do. Let the Lord guide you to those who need your encouragement.
I can’t tell you how many times a comment someone left me on my blog turned my day around. Many times, the Holy Spirit is encouraging me through their message, but they probably had no idea how timely it was. In fact, this happens quite often.
“encourage the disheartened” 1 Thessalonians 5:14
Disheartened means to be discouraged. Do you know someone who is discouraged? You can encourage them.
The definition of encouragement is: “The act of inspiring others with renewed courage, a renewed spirit, or renewed hope.”
When I was a special education teacher, it was obvious to me that all my students needed encouragement. But children with special needs aren’t the only ones who need encouragement. Look around. People who need encouragement are all around you. Ask God to help you and reach out.
“Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.” 1 Thessalonians 5:11
“Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” Galatians 6:2
Note: I have learned a lot about encouragement from David Jeremiah’s book, The Joy of Encouragement. I think you would, too.
In His Love, Cindy
Do you want to know more about Jesus? See my page Who Is Jesus?
All Scripture references are from the NIV unless otherwise noted.
Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash
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Listening and encouraging are very important as you point out Cindy.
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Blessings, Manu!
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I have discovered though sometimes forget to put into practice, simply asking, “Can we pray right now?” People almost always say yes but appreciate being given the option and feel included because there is no I in we!
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Oh thanks for adding that very good advice!
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I agree. I have had such positive responses when we pray right on the spot!
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That is very true. Blessings!
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We are reading Job as we make our way through the Bible. The problem with Job’s friends was not so much that they were wrong in what they said, but that they failed to hear what Job was saying.
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They weren’t very good listeners, were they? Blessings, Robert!
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I especially appreciate #4, … or tell them what happened to you. I think it is closely related to #1, listening.
God gives us the gift of encouragement as a way to serve others; and, yes, we need to pray to be better encouragers.
Much-needed post, Cynthia! Thank you.
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Thank you for the feedback. Have a blessed day, Kathy!
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These are excellent! Best weekend wishes!
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Thank you, AW. Blessings to you!
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Job teaches us so many things about appropriate & inappropriate responses to life’s trials.
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So great to hear from you! Blessings, Barbara!
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Helpful guide
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God bless you today, Pastor Jim!
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Thanks sister
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And your blog, this one as well as so many others, have encouraged me. I appreciate you so much, Cindy.
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Awww, thank you Patty. God bless you today!
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Amazing; just yesterday morning, I was preparing the Sunday school class that I teach (for adults), including several chapters in Job. You make an excellent point that every believer is called to be an encourager. One thing that has really struck me in studying Job is that his three friends are not only cruel at times; much of what they say is not even true. Job 8:4, for example: “When your children sinned against him, he gave them over to the penalty of their sin.” Then in Chapters 15, 18, and 20, they take turns speaking foolishness about the wicked: basically, that their lives are full of misery. Job counters this falsehood in Job 21.
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There are many lessons to be learned from the book of Job. One thing that stood out to me was how Job’s friends failed to provide encouragement. It got me to thinking. Blessings, Keith!
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Many lessons indeed, including that one. Blessings to you, too, Cindy!
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