People can be cruel. Words can do more damage than a physical attack. Have you ever been hurt by someone’s hateful words, insults, or false accusations?
Consider this: “Most times, others are mean because of what is occurring in their own life, and less often does it have to do with you.
Common reasons people are mean include they have a need to gain power, they feel threatened, or they struggle to regulate their emotions.” (Andrea Brognano, Choosing Therapy)
This is important. Once we understand this, it will change our perspective. It’s more about them than you. Understanding this will help us to respond differently.
Brognano lists 12 possible reasons someone may be mean to you. One of the reasons a person may be mean to you is because they feel threatened (and you may not even know it).
“When a person feels threatened by you, their response may be to defend themselves, and this often comes across as being mean. A person might think that because you are naturally good at something, they cannot co-exist in the same space, especially if they are doing something similar. This can lead them to feel they need to be defensive and may resort to meanness to stand their ground.” Andrea Brognano
We must prepare to respond, not react. How should we respond? The Apostle Paul said,
“When we are slandered, we answer kindly.” 1 Corinthians 4:13 NIV
Jesus said, “But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.” Luke 6:27-28 NIV
Luke 6:27-30 can be difficult to completely understand. And if you are hurting, it can be difficult to hear. I dare say, an entire book could be written on these four verses, about what they mean and what they don’t mean. It doesn’t mean your accuser is innocent or that you should say it’s ok. It tells us how we should respond.
Seeing their attack on you from a different perspective can actually protect you from the hurt and pain their words might otherwise inflict.
God is transforming us into the image of His Son. And that doesn’t happen overnight. However, we can see His hand at work because He loves us and treats us like sons.
“For the time being no discipline brings joy, but seems sad and painful; yet to those who have been trained by it, afterwards it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness [right standing with God and a lifestyle and attitude that seeks conformity to God’s will and purpose].” Hebrews 12:11 AMP
In His Love, Cindy
Do you want to know more about Jesus? See my page Who Is Jesus?
Pray for Israel
Source: Choosing Therapy
RealChristianWomen.blog
Great article and thank you again. As I have heard it said live long enough and you will experience enough to change you for the better or make you bitter but it is still your choice.
As I read your article I could think through every one of those incidents in my life. The hardest one is if someone you love, believes they are in competition for a specific talent so the only recourse is the bow out of something you love to give them the space to thrive.
Love the way you put how to protect our hearts, as we are told by God to guard our hearts. Took me a while to figure out how to do that without closing my heart up.
Thank you again Cindy.
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Thank you for your insightful comments. I like what you said, “live long enough and you will experience enough to change you for the better or make you bitter but it is still your choice.” That’s so true and we would do well not to forget it! Blessings, Eileen! 🙏
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This was a great post. Thank you for sharing. And it is amazing how God works.
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Yes, it is! Blessings, Mark!
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Your statement advising “we prepare to respond, not react” has so much power to pivot emotions positively or negatively. It’s a good thought to keep in mind when you’re ready to crawl out of your skin. Great post, Cindy. 🙂
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God has been showing me how answer with a smile and silence, instead of what I’d like to say. He is my Defender and I don’t have to take vengeance in my own hands with my response.
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Amen! Blessings, Cindi!
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